A Living Temple
"I love Jesus, but I don't need the church."
Tragically, this attitude has become very normal among professing believers. People walk away from the church to pursue their own relationship with God or their own spirituality. And I believe the enemy rejoices every time this happens, because when people reject the Church, they're not just rejecting an institution. They're rejecting God's commands.
There are 59 "one another" commands in the New Testament. Love one another, serve one another, bear one another's burdens, submit to one another, the list goes on. These commands simply cannot be obeyed in isolation, because God doesn't want a bunch of individuals worshipping Him on their own. He wants a body of believers that are devoted to Him and to one another.
In Ephesians, Paul paints this beautiful picture of how the church is supposed to function:
"So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit." (Ephesians 2:19-22)
We are all called to attach ourselves to this living temple made up of believers throughout the ages, from the apostles and prophets up until now, Jesus himself being the cornerstone. God wants to dwell with us, and so unity is not optional, it's commanded.
Unity Without Compromise
However, Scripture is also very clear that the church is to be holy, as God is holy. Paul warns us with regards to the world "to come out from them and be separate" (2 Corinthians 6:17). James says that true religion is "to keep oneself unstained from the world" (James 1:27). So as believers, we have this twofold mandate: attach ourselves to the church and remove ourselves from the world. The problem is, what happens when the Church starts taking on worldly beliefs and behaviors? Is it possible to become stained by the church itself? How do we respond if the Church begins to deviate from fundamental truths? How do we decide which issues are important enough to break fellowship over?
It's very hard to know how to be "eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace" without compromising on holiness and truth (Ephesians 4:3). It seems like for many years, believers have tried to navigate this by creating boundaries with various degrees of separation like, "you can call him a Christian, but probably best not to associate with him," or, "we don't agree on these issues, but I think it's okay to partner on this type of event." This quickly becomes confusing, and it's very hard to be consistent. Many people have asked me where to draw the lines, and honestly, I don't know.
The Way Forward
Recently, as I was meditating on that passage I just referenced from Ephesians 4, it dawned on me that Paul doesn't provide a strategy for how to achieve godly unity, but he does show us a type of character that we are supposed to pursue. "With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace" (Ephesians 4:2-3). So often, I just want to know what to do, but here Paul is telling us who to be. "With all humility and gentleness." In other words, be the most humble, gentle person on the earth.
My wife and I have led many marital counseling sessions over the years, and in all our time, we've never seen a humble couple divorce. It just doesn't happen! It's crazy how humility brings people together.
As I was thinking about what it means to be humble and gentle, I realized those same words are used in another passage of Scripture. In the whole Bible, there is only one place where Jesus describes His own heart: "Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble at heart and you will find rest for your souls" (Matthew 11:28-29).
Jesus loved perfectly, without restraint or compromise. If we want to be like Him, we need to start by shifting our focus from the boundaries to the heart. If we are diligent about forming the character of Christ in our lives, not only do I believe we will have fewer conflicts to begin with, I also believe He will pour out the wisdom we need to walk with integrity in those that remain.
"But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." (James 3:17-18)
